my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
