i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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