You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
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