I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Fuck appropriateness.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
