Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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