What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
