KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
is this the sara with the beer cane?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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