I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
