Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
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