Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
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