That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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