Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i think i have two assholes
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Randomize
