I'm drive I can fine osifer
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
