Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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