Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Randomize
