STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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