She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
