I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
