im holly from the hills drunk
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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