Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
