Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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