A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
i think my cat just said my name.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
