grandma shit on top of the toilet
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I just forgot I was standing up.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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