He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
