She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
