Buhtt sex?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Success! We fucked roommates!
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
