i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
