Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
