Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
