I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I need mimosas to revive my soul
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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