I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
