Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
