Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
