his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
