it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
