i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
