Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
