Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
