If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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