I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
