And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
