last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
