when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
