My girlfriend figured out who you are.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
