i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
