remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
