Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
