What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i will never coherently bang her
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
then he tried to convert me to islam
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
