Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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