Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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