I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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